Nielsen Loves Me...But Not Really

So a few weeks ago I received a call which I thought was a telemarketer, but it was not. Instead it was the people at Nielsen TV Ratings, asking how many televisions I had so they could send me TV Viewing Diaries.

So my diaries arrived last Thursday. Apparently you write down every minute the TV is on, whether anyone is watching it or not. Any persons watching must be listed, including their gender, age and hours they work a week. Of course that means just me, except for one other person (who also writes on this blog) who was a visitor one night, so she got included too.

While this is not an informative nor necessarily intelligent post for my first non-CMVofW posting in months, it's something I find amusing. I'm not sure how or why the Nielsen people picked me, but I don't think I'm helping their cause.

Here is the television I have listed as watching so far:

• The Soup (on E!)
• SpongeBob SquarePants (on Nick)
• Everybody Hates Chris (on the CW)
• My Name is Earl (on NBC)
• The Office (on NBC)
• Scrubs (on NBC)
• Grey's Anatomy (on ABC)
• Best Week Ever (on VH1)
• Sex & The City (on TBS)
• The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air (on Nick. Twice.)
• SpongeBob SquarePants (yes, again)
• The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air (okay, three times)
• Full House (on Family)
• The Philadelphia Story (on TCM)
• How I Met Your Mother (on CBS)
• 50 Greatest TV Icons (on TV Land)
• Heroes (on NBC)

If they were expecting According To Jim or Dancing With The Stars, they are sorely mistaken. Needless to say I doubt I'll skew their results, they'll probably just throw them away. It's almost encouraging me to watch weird things on TV, just so I can write it down.

There's also a small section for me to write in my "comments" on Television in general... Maybe I should just write down this blog's URL...and leave it at that.

The Triumph Return of Television

It’s been over three weeks since my last post, and even longer since my last post of substance. But hopefully soon that will all change with the return of Fall Network Programming this week!

The following are the list of shows I’m planning to watch this season…and yes, most of them are returning series. I really don’t have much faith or interest in any of the new offerings.

Mondays:

Of course I will be continuing my watching of How I Met Your Mother, which should contain more hilarious moments as the last season provided.

I will be simultaneously taping Everybody Hates Chris on the CW. I find this sitcom more “cute” than laugh-out-loud funny, and I enjoy the 80s pop culture.

Also I will be watching Heroes. I am late coming into this show, but have been able to catch up on the first season through NetFlix, and I do find this show enjoyable in that comic book way.

Tuesdays:

…will apparently be spent watching something from NetFlix, or reading.

Wednesdays:

I’ve decided to give Private Practice a try, since I am a fan of Grey’s Anatomy. I never have much faith in spinoffs, though.

A show that premiered last week I happened to catch and enjoyed is Kitchen Nightmares, featured Hell’s Kitchen's Gordon Ramsay. I just find him so ridiculously entertaining and enjoy any show where a majority of the dialogue has to be bleeped out. Like this:

Thursdays:

Grey’s Anatomy will be watched, but my expectations are low as well. They have a lot to make up for after the second half of last season.

My Name is Earl…although I love Jason Lee, I can take or leave at this point.

The Office though, of course! This is probably the “must-see” of all of my television viewing. What will it be like with Ryan being Michael’s boss? And what happened with Jim and Pam? And is Karen just still sitting in NYC somewhere? Oh Dwight, how I’ve missed you…

Scrubs will be watched as well, but that won’t be on until the month of hour-long episodes of The Office finish up. I can’t say I’m really pulling for JD and Eliot to get together, though.

Fridays & Saturdays:

These are not TV nights, my friends.

Sundays:

I guess I could lie and say I’ll still watch Desperate Housewives, but that would be embarrassing to myself and others.

So that’s it, dear neglected readers! What shows are on your schedule?

Celebrity Male Crush of the Month

I am humbled by the incredible juggernaut of 80s nostalgia posted before me. My only hope to match the brilliance of the previous entries is to go in a different direction. Thus I introduce a new monthly feature I was thinking about.

For straight men there are really only 2 major criteria for a male celebrity crush:

• The celebrity must have talent. However, talent alone is not enough. He must use that talent in the best possible way by choosing only quality projects.

• The celebrity must be a guy that you think you could hang out with. There has to be an average guy feel to him. Basically if you could see yourself hanging out, drinking a beer, shooting the shit and watching a movie or the game then it's a good sign.

What is key is that the jealousy factor does not play a role. If you truly wish you were the celebrity and pine for every hot actress/singer he dates then it just doesn't work.

Now that the rules are out of the way I'd like to introduce May's Celebrity Male Crush:

Zach Braff

So just why exactly does Zach deserve such a high honor? Well let us start with the resume. There is of course his longstanding run on the fantastic Scrubs. And then he wrote and directed a gem called Garden State. He also was behind the brilliant soundtrack that accompanied that film, which was one of the best albums of that year.

I hear you asking, "James, why now? Why May? Why the inaugural choice for this honor?" Zach has many things lined up this month. Scrubs will deliver a season finale that hopefully will help get the show renewed for one more year. May 11th The Ex will hit theaters. To cap it off he will be hosting the season finale of Saturday Night Live on May 19th. He will also be on Conan tonight in case you have the time. And anyone who was even considered to reprise the role of Fletch is impressive by my book.(He was unable to do it due to a scheduling conflict)

Obviously he brings some serious game when it comes to talent. What about the hang-out factor? Is he an average guy? If by average guy you mean a freak like us then yes he is. First of all, he spends way too much time on the internet. He is a self-confessed youtube addict. Plus he takes the time to blog on his myspace page about more than just upcoming projects(though they do get mentioned). He is also obsessed with music as well. Plus the guy gets nervous, which is nice to see. He was on Leno recently and he was obviously a bit on edge. Basically the guy is pretty relatable.