Sunday, December 9, 2007

RETURN OF THE POP TEN

Wow, it has been way, way, way, way, way too long since my last Pop Ten, or even my last post for that matter. And now, more than ever, you need us here at Pop-Pop Culture to fill a void. Yes, this is one writer who is not on strike! Of course I also don't get paid to write this, so going on strike would be fairly futile. Unless of course I was striking to get wages for my contribution to the blogosphere. But that won't happen folks. At least not yet. Anyways, moving along, so much time and so little to do. Wait a minute. Strike that. Reverse it. Yes, yes must move forward. You may or may not have noticed, but there is an Alvin and the Chipmunks movie, starring Jason Lee about to hit theaters. Of course Jason Lee was also the voice of Underdog in the live action Underdog movie. Now, I'm sad to report that I did not go and see Underdog and will most likely not go to see Alvin and the Chipmunks. It has nothing to do with Jason Lee, or even the cartoons these movies are based on, far from it. No, no. I don't want to see them because it miffs me when they try and and rape my childhood by turning my favorite cartoons characters into live animals or cgi'd something or others! But I digress. You see this whole thing has really got me thinking, and I think most of you know how much that hurts my head. But this actually inspired three, count 'em three, Pop Tens. Part One of which you are about to read right now. Unless of course my rambling has had you move along or click that next blog icon, in which case you would probably be enjoying porn or a wonderful little Korean blog with strange writing and pictures. Or perhaps even some sort of mishmash of the two. Who knows? But if you are still here, I thank you, and don't worry you are in for a treat my friends. For I now present to you the Pop Ten "Cartoons I'd like to see be made into a movie with real actors, sets and everything (the no GCI edition, or CGI: Miami for that matter.)

10. GoBots- You had to see this coming, right? I still remember when I asked for Transformers for Christmas and got a GoBots sleeping bag. I was none to happy. Anyways, I think it would be cool to have dueling transforming robot franchises, building up to the two series' meeting up in one epic movie! You can count me in!



9. Smurfs- Yes people painted blue, a set of mushroom houses, a feisty feline and of course Gargamel. La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la. Oh imagine the possibilities, here. I mean you know you could get the blue man group on board. And that's comedy right there kids! And I say bring in the Hobbits! Let's get Elijah Wood, Sean Astin, Dominic Monaghan, and the other guy who may as well be the third tenor, cause no one can remember his name. But as for Gargamel, I think there really is only one man who has the range to play him. You guessed it, David Graf, Tacklebury from the Police Academy movies. No, I'm just kidding, I was actually thinking Alan Rickman would be perfect for this role. He could just keep the wardrobe from Harry Potter and he'd be good to go.



8. The Littles- This was another one of my favorites, and would be another easy one to make. I again would push the hobbits to star in this, but I'm sure they could get others. I'm thinking maybe Luke Edwards, you know that kid from Little Big League. This could do for him, what Pulp Fiction did for John Travolta! All you do is strap some tails and funny ears on actors and make a set that makes them look, well, little.



7. The Jetsons- They've done the Flintstones, but why no Jetsons? I mean c'mon! I'm seeing perhaps Danny Devito as Mr. Spacely and possibly Steve Carrell as George? As long as they don't make Astro CGI, that'd really irk me. How easy would it be to put this together, honestly? It's all in outer space, so you don't need any sort of logic in the plot, plus there's a robot. I mean next to monkeys and midgets, I think robots are the #1 draw to a cinematic feature.



6. Bananaman- Another classic that often gets lost in the shuffle, Bananaman rode the coat tails of Danger Mouse all the way to the bank! Okay well it may not have been that popular, but c'mon a guy who is a nerdy reporter who turns into a superhero by eating bananas, that's brilliant. I'm seeing Patrick Wharburton making this an instant classic!



5. GI JOE- Is there a better time than now to get this one in the works? We need patriotism and what better way than a G.I. Joe movie? Hmmm? I'm waiting. They could either have it set in the 80s or redo it for our modern times. I'm sure Seargent Slaughter's in either way, I mean what's he got goin' on, besides watching old Wrestlemanias? GO JOE!



4. M.A.S.K.- An oft forgotten cartoon by many, this was one of my favs. Cool vehicles, cool masks, evil rival organization. Oh, it had it all my friends! This would blow the doors off any action series around. This would eat the Fast and the Furious franchise for lunch! For lunch I say! Matt Trakker was the epitome of ruggedly handsome, maybe a Treat Williams type or something.



3. Thundercats- "THUNDERCATS HOOOOOOOOOO!" And I ain't just talking about Cheetara. Okay so there are already plans for this one in the works, but the casting has not been released, so we've worked up some ideas. I'm thinking Rebecca Romijn as Cheetara, maybe Mark Wahlberg as Lion-O and possibly Vin Diesel in the role of Panthro.



2. Voltron- This is another one that is going to be made and you, but there are very few details abound except that Mark Gordon is on board to produce. Now I can only hope this is done as well as Transformers was, but I can't wait for the casting details. I'm thinking possibly Jack Black as Hunk and, I dunno, maybe Daniel Radcliffe as Pidge? Sounds great! Although I always wondered why they had to call out what was happening? I mean wouldn't Keith feel goofy having to say, "And I'll form the head," every single time they formed Voltron? I know I would, and did, everytime I played Voltron in my basement.



1. JEM and the Holograms- What would be more totally outrageous, than a live movie version of JEM? Um, I think the answer you are looking for is, "nothing." I mean if they can make Josie and the Pussycats into a movie, why not JEM and the Holograms? Hmmm? Hmmm? Now obviously Josie and the Pussycats did not do wonders for the cartoon female bands, but JEM is a little more hardcore than the Pussycats, am I right? I'm saying, you ink Angelina Jolie as Jem/Jerrica Benton and this could be the hottest girl movie franchise in all the land!




Well there you have the Pop Ten cartoons that need to be made into movies with real actors, sets and everything, sans the CGI. Hope you've enjoyed.

2 comments:

Jill said...

I agree, its horrible to see some of our childhood pop culture treasures bastardized... Garfield, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles...

I must say I thought not many other people remembered The Littles! And Bananaman as well! Sometimes you can be lucky enough to catch The Littles on a random weekend morning still.

While I agree with most of your choices, I don't think I'd be able to take a real actor version of The Smurfs, because it would just be...creepy. All I can think of is Tobias Funke...

Eileen said...

I was going to say that I could watch Bananaman if Will Arnett played the lead...

Nice list, sir.